Making the Decision: Stay at Home Mom Vs. Working Mom

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There’s always been the huge controversy of which was better: The Working Mom or The Stay At Home Mom. some argue staying at home with your children teaches them more skills and helps them develop on a more fast paced road. Others say being a working mom is better because of the financial stability you are able to achieve and give to your kids. Well, in the end it’s simple to choose: Which path personally allows you to follow your hopes and dreams?

Let’s also break down the facts. Members of the Board of Directors for the Family and Home Network say that research has shown that early relationships between moms and infants/toddlers is the foundation of personality development. Yet, many psychologists have seen no statistics to support that statement. Children who are in quality day care can recieve the same personality development as those who are taken care of by Stay at home moms. Although this is true, Psychologically children do NOT do well with large seperations of time from a parent. It causes anxiety and emotional issues.

As a working mother it is extremely at the forefront of your mind to take care of your children financially. You want to provide and give your children what they need to prosper. This is a healthy idea, but going too far can be harmful. Nobody wants to work 12 hours a day and miss out on their family life. Understand that some women work this much to be ready for unseen circumstances such as divorce, job loss or an emergency. In defense of women who work, most working moms want to be a parent and have a successful career and can often become depressed when stuck on “parenting capacity”.

Even so, every mother is different and never settle with the mom stereotypes between the working mom and the parenting mom. You can nurture and still work. You can also nuture and stay home. Whichever makes you happy and is best for your family, you go for it. I’m not judging. After all, I went for a business woman to a stay at home literally over night. I’ve seen the pros and cons of both and honestly, it’s up to the individual mom. So choose on mommy freedom fighters.

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Being A New Mom

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Growing up I always heard that being a mom was “the best” thing ever. I would always smile and agree, after all, you got to spend time with cute little chubby faces right? I always pictured the life of a mom; Getting up early to make everyone breakfast, putting the children in the cutest outfits, spending bonding time with the little ones all while keeping the house perfectly clean and tidy. I never understood why mothers would seem so stressed out when I saw them at the grocery store or out in town. Maybe they needed to lighten up a bit? Mothering couldn’t be that hard! Boy was I ever wrong about everything.

 I remember sharing the news with my partner that we were going to be parents. We had tried for a couple months after deciding we were ready. We both were so excited and I was down right terrified as well! This would’ve been my first time begin around an actually baby since my little brother was born. Being 21, you feel ready to take on the task! I was always getting the comment “Oh, hunny, you’re too young!” I would just laugh it off casually and change the subject, not wanting to say anything rude. Throughout the pregnancy, we prepared ourselves. We bought the diapers, the wipes, cute little outfits. Our families’ helped us find a beautiful crib and bedroom set for what was going to be our daughter. Everything seemed like it was going to be so easy with everything set up and waiting for baby to come.

When the time came and we finally brought that little one into the world, the moment was so surreal. Seeing that little chubby baby come into the world, unaware of what was happening, testing its’ new senses looking at the light, listening to the sounds. It was such a beautiful moment. After healing up in the hospital, it was time to take our new daughter home. It was hard getting into the swing of life with a new baby. Getting up every 2 hours to do a feeding, diaper changes, burping 24/7. Of course we took turns at night, even though my partner worked 12 hours a day while I stayed home. After a couple days you begin to become exhausted, hoping for some type of relief. People always warned about how when the baby was born, I’d never sleep again! I never realized how true this was! But when those 2 hours were up, I did what I needed to do for my daughter. I mean, she literally can’t do it on her own!

We started to notice through the weeks that passed, she was getting so constipated that she couldn’t poo for days. Constipation sucks in general for adults, but for a baby that’s never known pain before, they scream and cry. Oh did it break my heart! We called nurses hotlines and everything! We switched formulas over and over again, but still she cried in pain from not pooping. I was starting to get so freaked out that we finally took her to the doctor. We came to find that she was just lactose intolerant! It was reasonable common for babies to be like that when they are so small. We switched to a non dairy formula and oh the relief! My poor baby didn’t cry anymore. My partner and I both got sleep. It was great. We finally got into a rhythm with our lovable little one. We became aware that she had a personality at such a young age! It was astounding! Her coos sounded like sheep noises and it just cracked me up.

Months later we watched her learn to crawl and eventually stand and walk. We were so ecstatic to experience such a fundamental skill and of course she was too! Watching her play and learn to kick balls, eat with her hands, watch her dance to my little pony made all the stress worth it. Now I can understand and agree with all those moms before me, Being a mom is the best thing in the world! +